Month: June 2017

Mlevi kutia timu Ukanadani kudai njuluku

        Baada ya wanene kutupiga changa la macho kuwa wale waliowaita majizi sasa ni “wanaume” kama alivyokaririwa dingi akisema, nimeamua kutia timu Ukanadani kudai changu. Yule anatikisa kichwa; akidhani natania. Sitanii. Lazima nifanye kweli hasa baada ya kuona kama tunapikiwea zengwe.
        Wanaodhani ulevi na ulimbukeni vinanisumbua kama wale waliogeuza kaya ya walevi shamba la bibi halafu sasa wanatwambia kuwa tuwasulubu makuwadi wao wenyewe wakikingiana vifua utadhani kaya yetu ni mali ya kaisari pekee yake wanakosea. Nitafanya kweli.
        Zifuatazo ndizo sababu za nguvu zinazonisukuma kulianzisha ili nipate changu mapema usawa huu wa Chukua Chako Mapema:
       Mosi, nimeamua kudai changu baada ya kupata ushahidi kwa dingi mwenyewe kuwa kumbe wale tuliaminishwa na bingwa wa uvivu wa kufikiri Brother Denjaman Tunituni ni wawekezaji kumbe wachukuaji na wezi wa kawaida wanaopaswa kuchomwa moto na si kujadiliana nao. Hivyo, lazima niwabane wanipe changu mapema kabla sijamnyotoa mwizi roho. Wakikomaa nawapeleka kwa pilato tena kule ICC ambapo nitafungua mashitaka ya mauaji ya halaiki ya walevi kwenye migodi kule Bulyankulu na North Mara ukiachia mbali wanaofishwa na umaskini wa kutengenezwa. Nina ushahidi kibao; wachukuaji hawa wezi walinyotoa roho za walevi.
        Pili, nimestuka kusikia kuwa jamaa sasa wamegeuka washirika na washikaji tena wakipongezana kuwa ni wanaume kiasi cha kuanza mikakati ya kujadiliana ili kulipana. Tangu lini mwenye mali akajadiliana na mijizi? Mbona vibaka hamjadili nao zaidi ya kuwachoma moto; au ni kwa vile kuna wanene nyuma ya jinai hii? Hivi nani alituroga waswahili kiasi cha kuwashobokea watasha; na kusahau; hawa jamaa wana mizungu; na wamekuwa wakitukwamisha kiuchumi halafu wakitutukana kuwa sisi ni hamnazo na maskini wa kujitakia. Acheni uvivu wa kufikiri. Badilini sheria kabla ya kuingia kwenye mazungumzo. Mnakwenda kule na sheria zipi wakati zilizopo zinaruhusu upigaji?  Kama hamjui basi jueni. Kinachotaka kufanywa ni ukoloni wa kujitakia. Mtajuta halafu muanze kuja na rongorongo nyingine.
        Tatu, nimeamua kuchukua hatua hii adhimu baada ya kugundua kuwa lile zoezi la kubadili sheria za kijambazi za kaya ili kuziba mianya yote ya uchukuaji na umakinikia sasa limeota mbawa baada ya kuja na sinema hii ya majadiliano. Lazima niseme wazi. Nitakuwa na uhakika gani kuwa wale watakaoshiriki haya majadiliano hawatakuwa na roho mtakakitu kama wale mbweha waliouza kaya yetu kwa wachukuaji kiasi cha kugeuka ombaomba wakati tuna raslimali kibao? Naweza kusema huu ni ubaguzi wa rangi. Hivi hii jinai ingekuwa ingetendwa na mswahili mweusi kungekuwa na cha kuongea au kufunga maisha? Hivi kweli nani alituroga kiasi cha kuwa kama ndondocha huku tukifanya mchezo na mambo muhimu ukiachia mambo ya hovyo kuyageuza ya maana kana kwamba hatuna maana? Hivi huu ujambazi ungekuwa umetendwa na kaya ya Kiswahili dhidi ya kaya ya kitasha unadhani kungekuwa na majadiliano? Kawaulize Wairaki na walibywa watakwambia jamaa hawa wasivyo na mchezo na kaya uchwara ombaomba kama zetu.
         Tano, baada ya kugundua kuwa mambo yenyewe sasa yatafanywa kwa kutegemea usongo wa dingi na si sheria kiasi cha kugeuka kama mali binafsi, nami sina budi kuanza madai binafsi. Hapa lazima nikomae na kuwa makini na si makinikia. Lazima nidai hata njuluku za madini na si makinikia yaliyogawiwa na majambazi wakubwa wasio na umakini bali umakinikia kiakili. Naona yule anasonya. Atakayechukia uje yumo. Kwani hawa waliogawa madini yetu walitumia nini zaidi ya makinikia ya akili badala ya akili yenyewe? Kama si hivyo, inakuwaje tushupalie makinikia huku tukifumbia macho madini yenyewe? Kama siyo hivyo, inakuwaje tutegemee usongo wa mtu mmoja badala ya sheria na mkakati wa kaya kwa ujumla?
        Sita, napanga nikipewa changu najea kaya kuanza kudai mchakato wa katiba mpya. Kwa vile nitakuwa na njuluku kibao, nitazitumia kuwahamasisha walevi kuhakikisha katiba mpya inapatikana ili iweze kutusaidia kupambana na mibaka yote iliyohusika na uchafu huu bila huruma wala upendeleo kama ilivyo. Hapa lazima nihakikishe natumia njuluku yangu kuanzisha kile kinachoitwa haki sawa kwa walevi wote bila kujali sura, vyeo, ubashite na upuuzi mwingine ninaoona kila siku kilevi kayani. Bila shaka hapa walevi watanipongeza kwa kila hatua badala ya kupongeza wale wale walioasisi ujambazi huu.
        Kumbe nafasi imeisha! Acha nijikate kwenda kutafuta pasipoti tayari kwa kuwatokea wamakinikia kwa umakini.
Chanzo: Nipashe Jumamosi leo.

THE BOTTOM LINE: In voting, fear the politics of the tummy like leprosy

           For high-pitched Kenyans, the time to mint and print dosh’s arrived. Do you want quick dosh? Become an opinion pollster. Thereafter, just analyse and say things with full sangfroid even if you truly know are abracadabra and quackery. It’s super easy. Use tribal science to interview tribesmen and women instead of citizenry. Add a tribal mind; and draw a tribal conclusion in predicting the tribal lord that’ll carry the day in the coming elections.
            The other day I read Gitau Warigi’s piece on how to make dosh in Kenya through forming briefcase political outfits, churches not winning a government tender. Provided that the eating season aka electioneering is close, smart nibblers are now prepared with their knives set to chop and chomp the meat UhuRuto once said it’s devouring while the challengers were drooling.
            Apart from becoming a pollster, there’s another cool way of making a killing at this point and time. Just become a political analyst answering to intimidating titles such as professor muta wa Ngumi even if you’re not but a quack sort of. To nicely mug political jobseekers, just plagiarise some terms such as the tyranny of small decisions which make people forget important things so as to latch on small and an important things. After doing so, you come to the nambers game of making your targets believe. When the tyranny of numbers was propounded to the country of Nyayo, I wondered to hear some enlightened people saying it’s somebody’s invention while it’s been in academic circles even before the cheap theorist purporting to coin the words wasn’t even conceived. Even gurus such as Angello, Howard Bowen, Mackintosh and Green and others who used this term in the sixties have never claimed to formulate it.
            In applying the bootleg tyranny of nibblers, ignore all other crimes such as the sabotage of Biometric Voter Registration (BVR) Kits despite sinking taxpayers’  billions of shillings to put in place. Instead of reporting results digitally, you just propose that the IEBC goes back to pre-Adamic era by manually counting the ballots. Why use computers while they don’t lie? Once again, here you can apply the doctrine of tyranny of choice in which Fredrick Schauer argues that there must be a distinction between  rules and standards. Electoral rules must be applies to see to it that the elections and their results meet standards of free, fair, credible and meaningful elections. There should not be any hanky panky or horse trading this time around.
            I don’t want repeat the same bunkum that saw Kenya go up to smokes in 2007. However, this time , there won’t be any room for the tyranny of the numbers. Instead, I’d say; voters who are, in a sense, consumers will, as Fasolo, McClelland and Todd would put it “neglect most product information and yet make good choices, so long as either there is no conflict among the product attributes or the attributes are unequally important.” If Kenyans choose issues in lieu of personalities fighting for eating free, there won’t be any conflict. Shall they cascade to the habits of the past, conflict will surface in that, instead of standing for the interests of their nation, many’ll defend the interests of their tribes. Hence, it is upon voters to choose between the nation and the tribe.
            However, one choice is safe and progressive for Kenya, a nation. Under it, all Kenyans are united as opposed to tribe under which they’re sharply divided.
            Voters need to heed this. Of all chicaneries, fear the politics of the tummy like leprosy. For, it is through this sort of politics, corrupt and venal politicians bribe voters with nonsenses such as drinks, meals,  Khangas, small amount of money, T-shirts and whatnots. Instead of buying into this fake generosity, take their stuff and ask them what they’re buying and how they made their dosh. Voter oh voter, it’ll be great.
            By the look of things, personalities seem to outweigh issues. Here’s where the Francis Nyenze thing comes in. many’ll like to see one of theirs been anointed and become a tenant in ikulu. Eish!  What’ll the hoi polloi get by pushing one of theirs to the throne. Do they know that ungaand madondo don’t know their alliances,ethnies, parties and horse trading? The lack of sanitation, clean and safe water,  reliable power and dosh in pockets don’t have brains, eyes or tribes.
Voters, these are dangerous times. Beware. What  a lying season that is!
Source: Citizen Wednesday today.

Natamani Tanzania ingekuwa Korea ya Kusini

       Hivi karibuni, nchi ya Korea ya Kusini iliingia kwenye historia ya dunia kwa kuwa miongoni mwa nchi zinazopambana na ufisadi mkubwa bila huruma kuonea. Rais wa zamani wa nchi hiyo Park Guen-hye alijikuta akiondolewa madarakani na kusindikizwa gerezani anakongojea kusikilizwa shauri lake la kuruhusu rafiki yake Choi Soon-sil kutumia ofisi ya rais kujitajirisha kinyume cha sheria. Choi ambaye naye yumo gerezani akingojea kusikilizwa kesi yake, alitumia ukaribu wake na rais kuyasumbua makampuni mengi ya kibiashara kuchangia asasi yake isiyo ya kiserikali ambapo kipindi kimoja, alilazimisha kampuni ya Samsung kuchangia dola za kimarekani 69. Wakati akiingizwa gerezani hapo tarehe 31 Machi, 2017 bango moja lilimpokea likisema “hongera kwa kuingia gerezani. Toka ukiwa binadamu baada ya miaka 30.”
        Park angekuwa rais wa kiafrika, nani angemgusa.  Asingeondoshwa madarakani kwa aibu na kuishia korokoroni. Angetafutiwa mazingira ya kumlinda hata baada ya kuthibitika kuwa alitenda ufisadi. Lakini kwa wenzetu hilo hakuna. Hakuna aliyeko juu ya sheria; wala anayeruhusiwa kutumia ofisi yake kwa manufaa binafsi kama ilivyo kwa Afrika ambako marafiki, watoto, wake au waume na ndugu wa viongozi nao hujipachika uongozi kwa sababu wazazi au ndugu zao ni marais.
        Hakuna ubishi. Kwa sasa, Tanzania inakumbwa na kashfa kubwa tu zinaohusisha hasara za mabilioni zilizosababishwa na baadhi ya watawala wetu na wasaidizi wao ima tokana na uroho, ujinga na ufisadi au roho mbaya kama siyo ulimbukeni. Kashfa hizi si mpya. Kinanchofanyika ni baada ya rais wa awamu ya tano John Pombe Magufuli kuingia madarakani na kufanya ambacho karibia watangulizi wake wote walishindwa kufanya–kuanza kufukua kila aina ya uoza–na kuchukua hatua hata kama si kwa wahusika wote. Zoezi la Magufuli la kupambana na ufisadi nchini limevutia wengi ingawa pia linakosolewa na wengi kutokana na kuhangaika na vidagaa huku mapapa wakisazwa. Wanaomuunga mkono Magufuli wanaona kuwa amethubutu. Wanaopinga harakati zake japo si wengi, wanaona kama hafanyi mambo kisayansi na hayawezi kuwa endelevu hasa kutokana na mfumo wa kikatiba wa kutekeleza haya ukiachia mbali mapungufu kama upendeleo wa baadhi ya watu wa karibu wake kama ilivyotokea kwa mkuu wa Mkoa wa Dar Es Salaam Paul Makonda anayetuhumiwa kughushi vyeti vya kitaaluma.
        Mbali na Makonda, juzi baadhi ya wabunge wa upinzani waliposhinikiza kuwa marais wastaafu walioshiriki uoza na uovu huu washughulikiwe. Vyombo vya habari vilimkariri mbunge Kilombero (Chadema) Peter Lijualikali akisema “Haiwezekani mzee wangu (Andrew) Chenge na (Nazir) Karamagi walipitisha mikataba hiyo bila Rais aliyekuwapo kufahamu. Kinga ya Rais kushtakiwa iondolewe ili wahojiwe.” Baada ya Lijualikali kutoa pendekezo la kuondoa kinga kwa marais, spika wa Bunge Job Ndugai alisikika akiwaonya kwa kusema “Mabadiliko mnayoyataka yakipitishwa na viongozi mlionao wakikamatwa msije mkalalamika tena” akimaanisha mawaziri wakuu wastaafu Edward Lowassa na Fredrick Sumaye waliohamia kwenye kambi ya upinzani. Hapa unaweza kuona namna kulindana kulivyo tatizo la kimfumo zaidi. Badala ya spika kutumia mamlaka yake kuunga mkono haki ya kutenda haki, anaonekana kutoa vitisho kama ishara ya kuonyesha kuwa wapo wasioguswa. Hata hivyo, spika alisahau kitu kimoja kuwa hao mawaziri anaotishia nao watasombwa hawana kinga kama marais wastaafu ambao kimsingi ndicho chanzo cha ufisadi, uovu na uoza huu uliofanya taifa lenye kujaliwa raslimali lukuki kuwa maskini na ombaomba bila sababu zaidi ya ubinafsi, uchoyo, uroho na roho mbaya za baadhi ya watawala wetu waliogeuza ikulu kuwa chimbo la utajiri badala ya kuwa hekalu la haki la wananchi. Ingekuwa Korea ya Kusini, kauli ya spika ingemgharimu. Kwani, ameonyesha wazi kuunga mkono ufisadi.
        Naye mbunge wa Singida Mashariki (Chadema) Tundu Lissu wala hakuficha wala kuzungusha. Alitaka rais Jakaya Kikwete ashitakiwe kwa vile ndiye aliingia mkataba wa mgodi wa Bulyankhulu tarehe 5 Agosti, 1994. Na wakati ule hakuwa na kinga yoyote kisheria. Je rais atawashughulikia watagulizi wake na nani yuko tayari kumvisha paka kengele zaidi ya yeye aliyeanzisha na anayesimamia mchakato huu? Maana, ukiangalia ushahidi uliopo, mambo mengine hayahitaji hata uwe mtaalamu wa sheria wala msomi kujua kuwa kinachoenda kufanyika ni kinyume na common sense. Sijui tunatoa taswira gani kwa wananchi wetu na vizazi vijavyo kwa kupendeleana na kulindana hata katika maovu?
        Kwa taifa linalotaka kujikomboa tokana na ufisadi lazima tujenge utamaduni wa kuhoji kila mtu bila kujali cheo chake. Wengi walidhani kama wahusika wanasingiziwa, wangejitetea na kuwataka wanaowatuhumu watoe ushahidi; wakishindwa wawajibishwe. Haiwezekani  rais awe mlalamikaji, mwendesha mashitaka, shahidi, haki na polisi. Kufanya hivyo, licha ya kuwa kinyume cha sheria, kunakinzana na ahadi za rais za kuwatendea watanzania haki bila kujali ukubwa wa cheo cha mtu.
        Tumalizie kwa kusema kuwa Tanzania inakabiliwa na matatizo yasiyo ya kawaida yanayohitaji majibu yasiyo ya kawaida yatokanayo na busara, ukweli, uwazi na ithibati vya aina yake. Siku zote huwa tunasikia watu wakiambiana wafanye maamuzi magumu. Korea Kusini walichukua maamuzi magumu. Nasi kama taifa, kama kweli hatuwadanganyi watu wetu na kuwageuza hamnazo, tunapaswa kufanya maamuzi magumu kwenye kupambana na ufisadi bila upendeleo wala kutishana. Natamani Tanzania ingekuwa Korea Kusini.
Chanzo; Tanzania Daima Jumatano leo

Ufisadi: Kijiwe chataka haki sawa kwa wote

        Baada ya kutolewa onyo kali la hovyo kuwa tusiwaguse wakubwa mafisadi, kijiwe kimekaa kama kamati kulidurusu na kutoa angalizo kikizingatia sharti la katiba ya kaya kuwa kila mtu anastahiki haki na wachovu wote ni sawa. Hivyo, bila woga wala upendeleo, kijiwe kitatongoa na kudurusu baadhi ya masuala na kuyatolea majibu.
        Msomi Mkatatamaa anaingia akiwa na magazeti mengi tu. Anayaweka mezani na kuamkua na kusema “jamani mmesikia ujinga wa kutaka kutufundisha woga ili tuendelee kupigwa?” Anapiga hafa yakuendelea “katika maisha yangu sikutegemea kuwa wale wanaotuaminisha kuwa wanapigana na ufisadi kwa ajili yetu wangekuwa vigeugeu na woga kiasi cha kuogopa hata mawazo. Nani alitegemea kuwa majizi makubwa yaitwayo maheshimiwa yangekingiwa kifua wakati wanaofanya hivyo walituaminisha kuwa watatenda haki bila kujali itikadi, cheo, dini, kabila, eneo na makandokando mengine?”
        Kablaya kuendelea Mheshimiwa Bwege ambaye huwa hana tabia ya kuchomekea, anaamua kumchomekea na kusema “wewe uliamini rongorongo za wanasiasa wakati wakisaka kula ya kura siyo? Hujui kuwa baba na mama yao ni moja! Hata hivyo, kama tutakuwa wakweli, nani amkamate nani wakati wote ni watoto wa nyumba moja? Nani amshughulikie nani wakati wote ni sehemu ya tatizo ukiachia mbali hizi rongorongo za kutafutia umaarufu? Pamoja na ubwege wangu, sikushangaa hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa huku Afrika wateule huwa hawaguswi hata wanapopiga kama ilivyokuwa kwenye madili ya ANBEN, EPA, ESCROW, Richmonduli, IPTL na mengine, mnapaswa kula pini kwa vile jukumu lao ni kuwala na kuwatumia nyinyi.”
        Mgoshi Machungi naye anaamua kula mic “hata sisi hatishangai hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa hakuna kesi ya ngedee inaweza kushindwa mbee ya nyani. Mimi najua fika. Wengine sea zao ni za kuindana; na huu ndiyo wakati wa kufanya hivyo hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa tinaendeshwa kifaumefaume bia kujitetea tokana na woga na ujinga tena unaofanywa na wae unaoweza kudhani wamisoma wakati ni bue kabisa. Hamkuona madaktai wakijikombakomba kana kwamba hawakusoma?”
        Mpemba naye anakatua mic “yakhe hapa nkuunga nkono. Hata mie nilishangaa sana pale nilioposoma kuwa jarida fulani limefungiwa kwa kuchapisha picha za wateule wenye mazonge na kashfa. Wallahi mie ningependa wabadilishe katiba lau waseme kuwa ufisadi ni halali ya wanene na si wadogo kama hawa tuwaonao wakihangaishwa kwa vile walipiga tena kiduchu ikilinganishwa na hawa walotuuza hadi rahis akajikuta pakanga akishughulikia kashfa tu badala ya mambo mengine muhumi kwa kaya.”
        Mipawa anaamua kumpoka Mpemba mic “hapa lazima tukubaliane kuwa ufisadi si kosa  hasa linapotendwa na wakubwa, washirika, watoto hata wake zao kama ilivokuwa kwenye kashfa ya Kiwila na nyinginezo zinazokingiwa kifua wakati hata ndege wanazijua na kutushangaa kwa tunavyodanganyana kuwa twaweza kujenga kaya ya haki na ya maendeleo bila kutenda haki sawa kwa wote.”
        Kabla ya kuendelea, Kanji anampoka mic Mipawa na kudema “mimi hapana sangaa. Samaki vote iko na surubu. Hivyo, hapana samaki nasulubu menjake kwa kuwa na surubu. Kama nachunguza yote wizuri, nakuta iko na kashfa kama ile ya kuuja jumbani ya umma kwa vakuba chini ya hii moja nono nalinda sasa na naambia chowu kuwa iko wiwu va kufikiri. Halo halo natoka vachowu natoka Kapa!”
        Mijjinga aliyekuwa akibukua magazeti anaamua kutoa ya moyoni “mie naona tuache woga. Tuingie mitaani kudai tuambiwe kaya hii ni ya nani kati yetu na hao wateule wezi. Maana, wamekuwa wakitwambia kuwa kaya hii yetu na wao ni watumishi wetu. Huu ndiyo utumishi au wanatutumia wakimaanisha watumishi? Kwani hizo ofisi ni mali zao au za wachovu? Natamani marehemu Chris Mtikila angekuwa hai. Hapa pangechimbika bila jembe. Hata hivyo, sijui kama akina Tunda Jisu watakubali ghilba na vitisho hivi. Kwa ufupi ni kwamba tulianzishe kwa kuingia mitaani kudai uhuru wetu wa kutendewa haki na kusikika vingenevyo tutajikuta chini ya imla bila sababu zaidi ya woga na kujigongagonga kwa wale wanaobembeleza kitumbua uchwara kama yule daktari uchwara aliyefungia jarida kwa kuchapisha picha za wanene wenye mizogo ya kashfa.”
        Sofia Lion aka Kanungaembe anaamua kula mic “kwanza nilishangaa kusikia tishio na onyo kuwa waliopiga wakiwa kwenye ulaji wasiguswe wala kuandikwa kiasi cha kufungia jarida. Je wanasingiziwa; na kama wanasingiziwa kwani mahakama zimeisha kayani? Waende wakalalamike mahakamani badala ya kutumia mabavu bila sababu. Huu ni utumiaji mbaya wa mamlaka kusema ukweli. Hii ni kinyume na viapo vya uadilifu ambavyo mara nyingi wengi wamekuwa wakilishwa na wale wanaoweza kufanya mambo ya wachovu kuwa kama masuala yao binafsi wakichagua nani wa kuadhibu na nani wa kusamehe kama kwamba hii kaya ni falme la mja mmoja. Ni aibu hata ndege wanatucheka kwa kufanya kila jambo kuwa sanaa na sinema.”
        Kijiwe kikiwa kinachanganya si ukapita msafara wa Njaa Kaya akitoka zake kuzurura Ukanadani alikokwenda kuwapigia magoti wapiga wa makinikia bila kuwa makini. Acha tuuzomea na kutaka kupopoa kama si ndata kutuzidi nguvu.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Jumatano leo.